Confession

Forgive me, vegan god, for I have sinned..

I just moved to Santa Fe, and I've never been so broke! Being broke leads to being hungry. Being hungry leads to poor decisions.

Our dishes arrived.. after a month!! Imagine using a set of tupperware for that long. Imagine depending on a microwave for that long. Ughh, I didn't even have my spices til last week. Imagine the yuck.

So I ate ramen.. lots of ramen. The non-vegan brand is 20 cents. The vegan brand is a dollar. My wallet made the choice.

I wish that was the worst of it.. but alas, I am weak. I ate some of B's burritos. Bean and cheese burritos.

Then.. on Xmas day.. we were chilling with a family I hadn't met beforehand. It was kinda last minute. I had mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes with marshmallows, corn, and rolls. None were vegan, and I had two servings. I should have gone hungry or told everyone I was sick. I shouldn't have let their expectations dictate my eating. I shouldn't have listened to B. He hates my not eating cheese :-(

I woke up this morning after another disturbing dream. I was at a metal show (B likes black metal and such), and we were chowing down on people! The bones were crunchy.. I think I ralphed.

I don't want to hate myself after eating dairy, but I guess I'm brainwashed. A year of doctrine can't easily be ignored. I'm not sure that's a bad thing, but being vegan while broke (and without pots and pans) is rough! I own books about affordable vegan living too!

Excuses, excuses.. guess I am an excuse-itarian this month. Or a vegetarian.. whatevs. New year, new me, new (well, old) diet.

Nicety

People here are nice. I think I already mentioned that. I wonder how many transplants such as myself feel crass or rude in comparison. I feel loud and obnoxious, and I don't fit in yet. I guess I'll have to chill.. B Haa decided to tread on egg shells until we've broken in; I don't want to pretend a new identity. I am unfortunately the least lady-like lady you could ever know. I mean... I'm usually kind, and I try to be polite, but there's something loud within despite my meek voice. It's quite an adjustment.. mofo.

No Cigar

Sooo, Santa Fe is different. It's not that different, though. No one wears shoes on their hands, and hamburgers don't eat people. Everyone is nice! Super nice! I just had a conversation with a homeless couple, and they were nice! It wasn't a chore talking to them. They said to smile everyday no matter how rough. I dig it. The bus drivers are nice too! They aren't bus drivers in my head; they're people! They're people with jobs in transportation. They're people with something to say. They're people with manners. I dig it.

I feel like I'm in the twilight zone... The twilight zone where everyone is nice.